Fields of Innocence
by Frodo-Lover
Summary: a songfiction from a song by evanescence reflecting on Wendy at adulthood


~Song fic to Fields of Innocence by Evanescence~ (this is from the movie btw)  
  
It was a cold day in November. The wind blowing but no snow came, only knife-like rain stabbing and burning unprotected areas. Not many were walking down the street, but she didn't mind.  
  
~*~ I still remember the world from the eyes of a child~*~  
  
She looked over at where her childhood house had been. The window to her room, her brother's room, the room they had all shared in youth. It was closed and she remembered the year before she was 13. The night she met Peter, the adventure she set upon that altered her life. She closed her eyes and could see everything, as it had once been, every single detail of Neverland, of the lost boys and the mermaids, Indians and Pirates, and above all...Peter Pan.  
  
~*~Slowly those feelings were clouded by what I know now~*~  
  
None of the others believed her once she came back into the real world. Her parents and Aunt of course believed. Her mother above all. But as the years went those moments of pure happiness she experienced left her. The world changed around her leaving her wishing she could go back to those days.  
  
~*~Where has my heart gone? An uneven trade for the real world~*~  
  
Her innocent essence soon faded leaving her heart less satisfied and even the slightest bit cold. Only upon writing her famous novels and telling stories, Wendy's eyes never shone. Upon adulthood, a trade took place within her, taking much of the childhood she adored and replacing it with the bare facts of where she was in life.  
  
~*~I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all~*~  
  
Many nights in her late teen's early twenties, Wendy cried herself to sleep. So much seemed to trouble her. To step outside and see so much pain and hatred caused her to wish she had remained with Peter. Some good to her still remained in England, but much of it was changed since she was a child. She knew more then she should.  
  
~*~I still remember the sun, always warm on my back~*~  
  
She closed her eyes again. She was brought back to the days spent in Neverland. The warmth and sunshine, the laughter and the bliss. She could feel the warmth. She tried to reach out and grab it, but it was no use. It floated away along with many of her other dreams and memories.  
  
~*~Somehow it seems colder now~*~  
  
She opened her eyes and some of the rain hit her face. It stung and sent shivers through her body. Her hand was still being held by the one in front of her. The smile faded as she looked ahead. The one in front of her was not the one her heart at one time belonged to.  
  
~*~Where has my heart gone? Trapped in the eyes of a stranger~*~  
  
Her husband. Wendy thought once she found a man who would love her, she would be happy. Into marriage she realized what she had with this man was not love. But now it only seemed she was just a possession under his eyes, in his reach. Her heart tore in two when she thought of how she felt for Peter, Peter who could never act upon how he felt for her. Tears fell but she quickly sustained her emotions.  
  
~*~I want to go back to believing in everything~*~ He stopped, and then Wendy did. They stood outside the church. The mass had not begun yet they entered in. No lights but candles surrounded them, making Wendy nearly burst into tears. She remembered one particular night with Peter, with the fairy's and the moon surrounded them in light. How she missed believing in things like fairies, mermaids, and pirates. In the adult world, there was no talk of fairies. Under her husband, there was not much talk of what she wrote about, since under his opinion it was merely rubbish.  
  
As she knelt down into a pew she heard a prayer being spoken. Unlike the normal ones she heard, it was all in Latin. The priest reading it was going at a steady pace, carefully pronouncing all of the words. They pierced the silence of the church, yet voiced out over the whispers of others repeating the Lords Prayer and Hail Mary's. She bowed her head and let herself free to follow the words.  
  
By the time the mass was over, she regained herself and left intertwined with her husband's arm. They made it to their small brick house and the maid brought tea to her as she lay in bed, resisting dinner by complaining of feeling faint. She told she was to sleep by herself in the guest room for fear of contaminating, and her last words unto the faithful maid were "thank you for your services." As the fire dimmed towards night and it began to snow the Latin prayer came back to her. The words the priest said circled over her and she walked towards the balcony. In only her nightgown she walked out in the freezing weather and towards the edge. With only a faint smile on her face, she kissed the gift from Peter and whispered only a brief, but loving goodbye, hoping the wind would carry it to him in Neverland where he'd smile upon knowing she still had his love. She climbed upon the ledge, spread her arms apart, and fell.  
  
~To those reading, im sorry if you find this disturbing or morbid. I send my apologies. Though to every person, there is a right of opinion. By listening to this song, this is what comes to me. I did not write this out of wanting to do this, to escape; I write what the music and lyrics inspire in me. Good Day.~author. 


End file.
